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What to Eat When Out With Friends

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Written by

Jill Harris, LPN, CHC

Updated

In these posts, I like to address the topics I hear about most frequently from patients and Facebook Group Members. The common topic in the group this week has been eating while away from home (or ordering take-out food). This is a common dilemma for so many of my patients. What can we do to minimize the chance of overeating salt and sugar? What about alcohol? What will others think about my picky food selection process when out to dinner?

We all know that we’ll be eating more sodium than usual when we eat out, no matter what we do. This is a simple fact. However, having a plan BEFORE ordering helps immensely.

We can’t control everything, but here is a list of things we CAN control…

  • Look at the menu ahead of time to see which items are the lowest in added sugar and sodium and choose those. Many fast food places will have nutrition facts online—select the items that are most kidney stone diet safe.
  • Don’t order foods with sauces or dressing. If you do, ask for it on the side and use less of it.
  • Ask the server to tell the chef not to salt your food on the way out of the kitchen.
  • Share your food with a friend (portion control).
  • Skip the appetizers or dessert (portion control).
  • Limit your alcohol to one or two drinks (portion control)—more can cause dehydration, and we tend to be less mindful about food choices when we overdrink alcohol (no one has ever declared, “I’m buzzed, let’s order some kale”).
  • Substitute that spinach for another veggie.
  • Get extra veggies as the side dish.
  • Remember, you don’t HAVE to be a member of the clean plate club.
  • Don’t leave the house super hungry—you will overeat.
  • Ask for meat to be grilled instead of fried.
  • Have a decaf or tea for dessert.
  • Stay clear of the breadbasket.
  • If you are dining with people that make a face or have something to say about the way you order, know they are jealous that they don’t have your willpower and don’t let it bother you. I have dealt with this my whole adult life. Don’t care.
  • And the last one—have fun!

Your friend and advocate,
Jill

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Jill Harris, LPN, CHC Avatar

About the Author

Jill Harris is a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) who specializes in kidney stone prevention. Her goal is to teach you what you need to know and, more importantly, how to put that knowledge to work so you can stop forming stones. For good.
  1. Joy Hartnett Avatar
    Joy Hartnett

    Thank you for this! I’m sick of people making faces about my food choices. It makes me not want to go out with friends except for the two or three who understand. I’ve decided that people who act that way about my legitimate medical condition are not actually my “friends,” and I’m better off without them. I’ve dropped a former friendship within the last month because of this. I’m setting boundaries.

    Reply
    1. Jill Harris, LPN, CHC Avatar
      Jill Harris, LPN, CHC

      Hi Joy,
      Setting boundaries for unhelpful or unkind people in your life is mandatory. THE END.
      J

      Reply
  2. Joy Erb Avatar
    Joy Erb

    Any suggestions for low salt Thai food?

    Reply
    1. Jill Harris, LPN, CHC Avatar
      Jill Harris, LPN, CHC

      Hi Joy,
      I have recipes in my meal plan service. Def something to cook from home. Hard to get low sodium Thai out. When you decide to have it, just know it will be high, eat lower sodium the rest of the day and get back to work the next day. A girl needs her Thai here and there!

      j

      Reply
  3. April Avatar
    April

    Good thing I’m used to the comments and laughs on my account pretty much my whole life because of my food choices. Have an opinion, don’t care, lol. My friends and family don’t even bat an eye over my weird requests. I’ve been training for this since the age of 12.
    Now to figure out how to keep my Kryptonite at bay for the upcoming vacation….salt and calcium.

    Thanks for the post Jill!

    Reply
  4. Lori Fetci Avatar
    Lori Fetci

    I have a question. I am a person who eats out a lot 3-4 times a week. Not so much fast food but nice sit downs. I know they are no better, if not worse. I have been making major changes. I have only been going to restaurants every two weeks now. My plan is to stretch it out further. My question is if I don’t eat out at restaurants and keep the Kidney Stone diet dialed in at home will it be damaging to go out once a month and eat whatever I want but keep my portion sizes appropriate to correct portion size and make sure I have milk or other calcium with it, will that throw all the diligent work of the rest of the month out the window?

    Reply
  5. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    I always remember that if I pass another stone, (in agony), these “friends” are not going to be there holding my hand! (Thankfully, I have not had another one!) I’ve learned over the years (I’m almost 77!) that I am the one that I need to listen to about how I feel, etc.! People, take care of your selves and don’t worry about “what other people think!”

    Reply
  6. Sally Avatar
    Sally

    What vegetarian foods can I eat when out with kidney stones and I make curries daily with turmeric for the family. I’m unsure how to cook without this.

    Many thanks

    Reply
    1. Jill Harris, LPN, CHC Avatar
      Jill Harris, LPN, CHC

      Hi Sally,
      I only take away spinach, chia seeds, cashews really. You can eat all foods other than those within moderation. Turmeric should be used in moderation, high in oxalate. Get your calcium needs met each day.
      j

      Reply
  7. Nadia Avatar
    Nadia

    Hi Jill,
    I’m a vegan of 7 years and recently found I have two kidney stones so I immediately went super low oxalate and found I am feeling worse, but scared to eat anything with too much oxalate. Also not sure how to navigate this as far as eating out goes. I did this change cold turkey as of a couple weeks ago right when I found out about the stones. I should add I’m only 27 so this has been really difficult feeling like I can’t live normally. Should I continue low (under 50mg) oxalate?

    Reply
    1. Jill Harris, LPN, CHC Avatar
      Jill Harris, LPN, CHC

      Hi Nadia,
      There is no need to go under 50 unless you have malabsorption issues. Go to 100. Make sure you read my blog as there is so much on oxalate and fear and a bunch of stuff. kidneystonediet.com/blog
      j

      Reply

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