Help! I love sugar!

Welcome back to the Kidney Stone Diet Podcast, the show about reducing your kidney stone risk and living your best life. I'm your host and fellow student, Jeff Sarris.

And I'm Jill Harris, your kidney stone prevention nurse.

So here we are, the last episode for today that we're recording, because we batch these to be most efficient. We were just talking about how far into the year we're going to be once this batch is done. It's wild.

Time is just zooming by.

It'll be March next time we record again. Right now, it's middle of January, middle of January. Yep, it's amazing.

Yeah, so we're basically doing our timelines in our life by how many podcasts we put how many how many podcasts we do, right? So we're doing five today, so that puts us out now till March. Wow, time goes fast when you're living your life through the podcast world.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, this will actually be number six today.

Oh, really?

Yeah, so yeah, we got a lot. But yeah, like thank you again for everyone to everyone who's called and left a voicemail, and definitely keep them coming. It's so nice to have like your voices heard on the show.

And like we love hearing from you and it's just, yeah, it's awesome. Again, that number: 773-789-8763. But yeah, we really hope to hear from you.

Yeah, don't be shy, call us. We like to hear your voices. Everyone gets sick of hearing me, let's hear your voice.

Don't be shy. Ask some questions, don't even worry if they've been asked before, doesn't matter. There's always a new way to give an answer, so don't worry about anything, just ask whatever you want to know.

Oh yeah, for sure. So–

Even, Jeffrey, if it happens to be just, "Jill, habits, how do how do you do a lifestyle change, where do you start?" It could be all of that. Doesn't have to be just, you know, salt or the Kidney Stone Diet. How do you make a change?

What, Jill, I need to lose weight. So, all those things– weight loss, what does that have to do with anything? Well, I'm going to put you on the Kidney Stone Diet and we're going to talk about it's not just about you being overweight, it's about the habits that got you there and, also, a kidney stone, most likely.

So, anyway, go ahead, Jeff.

Yeah, I mean, because it's it's just it's wellness all around and like you're very experienced in all of these topics. So, yeah, we can touch on so much. So, anything you need help with, definitely leave a voicemail and yeah, we'll we'll have you on the show.

But, yeah, speaking of voicemail, let's get to this week's call.

Hi, Jill. My name is Molly. I live in Portland, Oregon and I just absolutely love you.

You're so funny. You do such a great job connecting with others and I just feel so much more hopeful and engaged in this time of my life where I'm finally feeling educated after having kidney stones off and on for 21 years. So, thank you so much for all you do.

I really just am kind of wanting to hear a podcast on chocolate, my biggest weakness. Chocolate, different kinds of chocolate and even just a little bit of a topic about sweets in general. I just don't know how I'm going to get to a point that I would like to get to where I can manage my sweet tooth.

But I do think I'm progressing so much in all of your other advice that I'm hopeful I'll get there. But I'd love to just hear you talk a little bit more about the things that are really popular for those of us that have sweet teeth, chocolate being one of them. Would love all your thoughts on it.

Thank you so much. Bye-bye.

Molly. So, Molly has called before, you know I'm in love with Molly. Just her presence.

She's just so sweet. Well, and Molly's saying, she's what I call a "sweety". So, there's "salties" and there's "sweeties".

And sometimes there's salties and sweeties, but mostly you're one or the other. Most people will say, "Jill, I don't care about no sugar, but I love me some salt," and that's really hard for me. Well, Molly is a sweety, her heart is sweet and, but her cravings are that of a sweety.

So, what do we how do we take somebody who's a sweety and make them a little less sweet? It's going to be, Molly, for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life, you'll be practicing this.

So, there's a few things that she said. She said, "I've always enjoyed chocolate. I feel like I'm progressing,

But I'm really not where I want to be." And so, many, many, many, many people want to know about chocolate, lots of videos about chocolate, because they want to they want to know, first of all, most people who have a calcium oxalate stone are told to stay away from chocolate. Never again! Never!

Maybe when you go to heaven, you'll get some at the gates, but other than that, no more chocolate for you, Molly. That's not true! It's not true!

It's not true! But, because there's always a "but", I always give you something,

But I'm not that selfless, I'm going to ask for a little something back. Here's what I want back from you: portion. Many people will say, and I would assume, but Molly can call back another time just cuz I'm so in love with her in her voice.

I would assume that because Molly's saying she's such a sweety, that if I tell Molly she could have chocolate, Molly may have a hell of a time trying to stick to that portion not perfection mantra that I have. Meaning, and many sweeties will have this, once they have a little bit of their favorite food, that bit becomes a boop real fast, real fast.

Because something gets triggered in their brain.

There's science to prove this, that they're going to want more. Your brain lights up, happiness. You know, when you're trying to lower sodium, patients will say, "Yeah, Jill, I thought you were lying, but after just a couple weeks on really monitoring my salt, I had some soup at Applebee's and I thought I was going to die, I was so thirsty!

I turned out I hated it!" But sugar people, sugar is a party in your mouth every damn day, every damn night, it's always good. No one ever says, "Ugh, sugar!" No one. Now, you may not crave it like maybe Molly does or love it like Molly does, but nobody could ever say, "Sugar, disgusting!" I've never met that person, okay?

But some people will have a really hard time

Not being triggered by sugar. So, Molly's saying, "Look, I like a lot of sugar, what the heck am I supposed to do, old lady?" Well, I'm going to tell you this. I'm really proud of you because you said you're progressing and that's where we want you to be.

You're not going to go from eating as much sugar as you want every day to 25 g of added sugar a day overnight. It may take you a year, Molly, to really get there, but the point is, you're always in the game. So, maybe next Saturday night you have me in your head and you're like, "Oh god, she said if I can't control myself, I shouldn't even have it in my house, but there it is, a pack that I forgot about and now I'm faced with it." So, you eat it

And there's a 1,000 g of sugar, I'm exaggerating, in that whole bag of whatever you just ate. Now what? You're terrible?

You're never going to make it? You're off the Kidney Stone Diet? You maybe made a stone in that one chocolate session?

No, nope, no, nah. None of it. None of it's going to happen.

None of it's going to happen. It just means you had a little bit of extra sugar that day. And so, what I want you to do when that happens and plan for it, please manage your expectations, all of you, when you're trying to change your habits.

You ain't going to be a nun overnight, that ain't going to happen. Be realistic, manage your expectations. Know that something's going to trigger you, whether you've had a fight with your spouse, whether your boss is a jerk, whether the traffic was terrible,

Your husband got mad at you today, whatever it is. Whatever it is, because life throws things our way. How are you going to manage it?

It may be a day where we know Ben & Jerry's says that's four servings in that pint, but if you had a shitty enough day, you're going to consider that one serving, we all know that. What is What is four servings of a Ben & Jerry's pint, by the way? That ain't even worth me getting my spoon out, that's ridiculous!

But that's four servings, right? And you may have a bad day and say, "I'm getting a pint of that and I don't care what Ben, Jerry, or Jill says, I'm having that damn pint." Does that mean you're going to form a stone? Absolutely not.

Does that mean you're not progressing?

Absolutely not. That means you had a pint of ice cream. Who cares, too bad, so sad.

Get up the next day and get back to work. That's how we do here at the Kidney Stone Diet. That's how we do.

So, this diet is way more than a bunch of goals. Listen, I couldn't talk about five goals for 20, almost 3 years. I'm talking about what do we do when we fall down?

What do we do? It ain't even falling down, you just had the freaking Ben & Jerry's, shut up, who cares! So, Molly, who struggles with really enjoying sugar, and since I know Molly because she's called in before, she says, "Look, I don't want to lose any more weight." So, it's not like she has she has to lose weight.

So, she's not worried about the calories from sugar, but she's saying, "Look, basically, I'm used to eating as much as I want of sugar. How the hell am I going to be able to control this?" Day by day. Sometimes minute by minute.

You will start new habits that maybe when something goes well or not so well,

You're not reaching for sugar. Also, when you eat less of it, you will crave less of it. When you eat more of it, you will want more of it, because your brain does light up for a few minutes and you do feel that sugar rush.

That's a real thing, that's not make believe. And so, sometimes when you're feeling low, you want to feel that in your body and in your mind and it feels good. But, typically, what happens afterwards, that sugar leaves your system and you're going to want more so you get that reward again in your brain, and so on and so on and so on.

So, many times I'll say start with this: I always have a fruit bowl right on my– and Molly's like, "Oh, shit. I knew she was going to say freaking fruit. I'm talking, girl, I want a Snickers bar, I don't want no apple." I know, I know.

Jeff's like, "Why am I here?"

Shut up, hold on, let me get it together. Wait, wait. So, I know that we're not always going to cure– Jill said, "Okay, every time I want a piece of chocolate, go get an apple or a pear or some kind of fruit." I'm not saying that's more fun of a choice for your mind,

But it's definitely a happier choice for your body. And you'll also get fiber with fruit, so you won't get that big blood sugar rush, okay? And so, you won't be crashing and burning all the time throughout the day.

So, when you start limiting your chocolate, you will crave it less,

Okay? If you keep eating it, you're going to crave it more. Now, specifically, chocolate, it is high in oxalate.

So, for people who are not triggered by chocolate– now, for me, I don't care about chocolate, I like crunch. That's where I get off. I like crunchy things.

So, chocolate I could have a Lily's no sugar added because there's stevia in it, sweet and stevia. There's no oxalate in stevia once it's processed, it's just the plant has it. So, I'll get a Lily's chocolate bar, I could have that chocolate bar in my house for two months and why am I telling you that?

Because I'm showing off? I'm just saying it's not a trigger for me. So, I can, if I want a piece of chocolate, I will actually have one square, that does me because I don't need it that much, it's not a trigger food for me.

No Cheez-Its in this house, though. So, we all have our addictions and things we cannot have in our house.

If you can control it, Molly, and it doesn't lead you to a whole tunnel of debauchery, meaning if you can control it, then absolutely have a bit or a boop of chocolate. It is high in oxalate, so I would save some of my calcium beverage for that chocolate, so it doesn't increase your oxalate.

If you can't, if you're like, "Oh, Jill's so cute, she thinks I can have two pieces of chocolate, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard!" If you're saying that right now, no chocolate in your house. Maybe you only have chocolate when you go out to eat once in a while, because when you go home, it ain't going to be there.

So, there's different ways in which you can bring it into your into your life while still getting some happiness here and there,

But it's not going to feed the addiction you have for sugar. And don't be don't be cringey that I said the word "addiction". Many people are addicted to sugar, that's nothing to be ashamed of.

We all I if I had crackers in my house, I would say I'm a cracker addict, I can't have them in my house. So, we all have our things and so, if it's not a trigger for you, sounds like it would be though, then I would say have a square or two, put your calcium beverage with that, and get on with your life.

If it is, save it for special occasions only. Make some rules around it, rules that will work for you. Now, if I was talking to not Molly, but Holly, I may tell Holly something different based upon what she tells me.

It sounds like Molly really loves her sugar. She's never had to watch it before because she's thin no matter what. And so, this is a whole new realm for her and it's a big change.

So, I would start slowly and the 25 g of added sugar, maybe normally, Molly, you're eating 100 g of sugar, I would say a day. I would added sugar, I would say go down to 50. Work your way down to the 25 g of added sugar a day that's on the Kidney Stone Diet.

Once you get there, it won't be such big of a deal. But the problem is people think they have to make this change from a Monday afternoon to a Tuesday morning. That's absolutely impossible

And stop thinking that way, although the diet industry has told us that for decades, that's why we believe it, but that's not how diets work. Not long term ones, and this is a lifestyle we're trying to create for you. So, the other thing about chocolate, white chocolate is very low oxalate because there's no cacao in it, so you could have that.

But, again, if you're triggered by sweets,

I'm not telling you can have as much as you want of white chocolate, I'm just saying and it's a very different taste. I'm just saying you may sub out that if that doesn't trigger you into sugar land. What else did I miss on that one, Jeff, anything?

No, nothing. No, I mean, habits are habit forming is a topic in itself. It's so difficult.

Like, to make a change isn't simple. It's not a flick of a switch. It's it's very challenging.

It's not a flick of a switch. And there's so much stuff out there that says 21 days to break a habit or start a new one, that's such bull do! I don't even know what to say.

So, on day 21, I guess you're just a whole new person? Everybody is just a whole new person? What about the person who can switch day two?

What about the person that takes day 60, but they can switch? What kind of propaganda crap to buy is that?

I mean, that is not true. Well, there was some science on it. Yeah, well, re-look at that science.

How many people did they study? You're telling me the whole world can change a habit in 21 days? No, that's not possible.

So, look, we've been sold we've been sold a line of bull do. When we say this is how it is, change in 21 days, what happens if the person was just about to change in 22 days?

I mean, I just don't like putting hardcore rules around that. We all we all we all are different. All are different, there's so many contributing factors to habit changes.

Do you live with a smoker? How are you going to stop when you're living with a smoker? You're eating You're living with somebody who's a chocoholic?

You want to try to lessen sweets? He's a grown-ass man, he's like, "I'm having chocolate in this house if I want it." That now becomes a conflict. What are you supposed to do?

Listen, I mean, he is grown, he can have his chocolate, that's your problem you can't have it. I'm just saying it's so much more complicated than buying a book that says in 21 days we can all change, bull do! So, when we listen to that though, we feel less than, "Well, I couldn't change in 21 days, I'm not for change."

Do you see why I get so upset about these things? Everybody's different. You may take a little bit longer.

Know you're going to not reach your goal all the time, that's okay. You just dust yourself up and you keep on trucking and you keep working. And like you said, Molly, you keep progressing.

That's what this is about, practicing, progressing, getting better, falling back,

Then getting back up, falling back again, keep on going. That's what this is and that's why we call it a practice. Nobody here is ever going to be perfect.

I'm not perfect at lifestyle. Some days I don't drink enough or whatever, I didn't meet my goals. I scan my brain, where was I not stellar at today?

Let me make sure I get back at it tomorrow. When we're conscious and mindful of where we are every day, then we can get back the next day and you don't form a stone or gain 25 lb overnight.

So, if you are always practicing and staying on track best you can, knowing when you falter, getting back on track, you pretty much stay the same. That means no new stones, ones you have don't grow, and your weight is maintained. That's all, folks!

Yeah, I think that's wonderful. That's wonderful advice. It's, yeah, all of this is so challenging, but it's day by day, just step by step.

Step by step.

Yeah, so thank you again, Molly, for calling. That number again: 773-789-8763 if you have a question you want to be featured on a future episode. But yeah, I think that'll do it for this week.

I think we will wrap there. If you want to dive deeper, head over to kidneystonediet.com where you can find the Kidney Stone Diet prevention course, you can find the meal plans, you can find the email newsletter, you can find the Facebook group, just everything is there at that one-stop shop, if you will, to find everything you need.

So, yeah.

Thanks, Molly, so much.

Yeah, thank you for your call. Thank you everyone for listening and we will see you next time.

Bye, Jeff.

See ya.