# How can I change my lifestyle? Source: https://kidneystonediet.com/ep/how-can-i-change-my-lifestyle/ Published: 2023-01-10 --- [![Kidney Stone Diet Podcast](https://kidneystonediet.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/Kidney-Stone-Diet-Podcast-1-1024x1024.jpg)](https://kidneystonediet.com/podcast/) [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWrN_1LsjA8)[Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-can-i-change-my-lifestyle/id1528474326?i=1000593509599&uo=4)[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1lKnNK3Oc0M02F8DunbRk4)[Amazon Music](https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/0868148d-adfd-411d-b3f2-71a0ad1461ec) January 10, 2023 --- ![Jeff Sarris](https://kidneystonediet.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Jeff-Sarris-150x150.jpg) Jeff Sarris Host ![Jill Harris](https://kidneystonediet.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Kidney-Stone-Diet-Jill-Harris-150x150.jpg) Jill Harris Host This week, Jill talks about lifestyle, habits, and how to make positive change in our lives. Have a question? Leave us a voicemail at (773) 789-8763.\  \  **= Stop your kidney stones once and for all =** - [Kidney Stone Prevention Course](https://kidneystonediet.com/kidney-stone-prevention) - [Kidney Stone Diet Meal Plans](https://kidneystonediet.com/mealplans/) - [Safe Snacks and Desserts Ebook](https://kidneystonediet.com/ebook/) - [24 Hour Urine Collection Analysis](https://kidneystonediet.com/24-hour-urine-analysis/) - [Private Coaching](https://kidneystonediet.com/coaching/) \ **= FREE Kidney Stone Resources =** - [Kidney Stone Diet](https://kidneystonediet.com/) - [Free Kidney Stone Diet Resources](https://kidneystonediet.com/resources/) - [Oxalate Food List](https://kidneystonediet.com/oxalate-list/) - [Kidney Stone Diet Recipes](https://kidneystonediet.com/recipes/) \ Find more episodes of the Kidney Stone Diet Podcast at [kidneystonediet.com/podcast](https://kidneystonediet.com/podcast) **= Who is Jill Harris? =**\ [youtube.com/TheKidneyStoneDiet](https://www.youtube.com/TheKidneyStoneDiet) Jill is a nurse and health coach that specializes in educating patients on kidney stone prevention. For more than 20 years she’s helped patients understand that kidney stones can be prevented with the right treatment plan. It’s one thing to be told to lower oxalate or drink more water, but HOW do you do it? That’s where she comes in. Through the educational resources at [kidneystonediet.com](https://kidneystonediet.com/), stone formers can learn everything they need to know to significantly lower new stone risk. **= Who is Jeff Sarris? =**\ [youtube.com/jeffsarris](https://youtube.com/jeffsarris) Jeff’s co-founder of [SPYR](https://spyr.me/), a branding agency based out of Chicago, where he and his business partner Dave help awesome people like Jill create online platforms that make an impact. He’s also a certified health coach and host of the [Starting Now podcast](http://spyr.fm/now). Reach out on Twitter! [@jeffSARRIS](https://twitter.com/jeffSARRIS) ## Chapters - 00:00:00 Phone Cameras and Winter Tree Decorations - 00:02:09 Rethinking New Year Resolutions and Tracking Accomplishments - 00:05:10 Flaws of Short-Term Diets and Fad Claims - 00:07:13 Setting Realistic Expectations for Dietary Changes - 00:10:33 Overcoming Food Guilt and Emotional Eating - 00:13:26 Eliminating Food Shame and Practicing Portion Control - 00:17:21 Using Periodic Self-Reflection for Health Habits - 00:20:42 Building Sustainable Healthy Lifestyle Habits - 00:24:20 Kidney Stone Diet Community Support Options ## Transcript ### Phone Cameras and Winter Tree Decorations 00:00:00 Jeff Sarris Welcome back to the Kidney Stone Diet podcast. The show about reducing your kidney stone risk and living your best life. I'm your host and fellow student, Jeff Sarris. 00:00:20 Jill Harris And I'm Jill Harris, your kidney stone prevention nurse. Did you see my big thumb in there? 00:00:26 Jeff Sarris Nothing wrong with that! Yeah, you got the notifications, though, cuz you do this all on your phone, which is like it's it's still amazing to me how good the phones are now with the cameras. I know this is completely unrelated, but it looks so good. 00:00:37 Jill Harris And I have an old phone. Mine's an 11, so it's old, right? Because I hate I hate spending the It's so much money, phones. It's like and it's ridiculous. And Well, whatever. That's a whole other podcast, why Apple keeps telling us we need to get a new iPhone every year. It's ludicrous! Anyway, I mean, they're they're wonderful. I love cell phones, but I'm just saying it's like, really? We don't need one every year for $1500. Thank you very much. So, 00:01:04 Jeff Sarris Yeah, that's a lot of money. But yeah! But the holidays just passed for us. It's the beginning of the new year when we're recording this. Actually, yeah, I think this will go out in a week from tomorrow. But yeah, how's everything been going? 00:01:18 Jill Harris Everything's good. You see my tree is still up, and now I was I was just telling Jeff this. I am going to have a winter tree because it's so gray here for so long, so I got I went to Michaels, got 70% off. I got like little winter birds and little winter animals. That's what's going to go on the tree. I took the decorations off, but I'm putting like a winter theme. So, that's new in case anybody needs to think about a journal entry this evening. And the other thing I wanted to say is, yeah, New Year's resolutions, right? So, everyone is I mean, there are so many diet ads, my gym is getting busy. It's always busy this time of year. It's packed. People who go on a regular basis like me are like, "Really, people?" But then by February 14th, everyone's gone again. So, it's really interesting. ### Rethinking New Year Resolutions and Tracking Accomplishments 00:02:09 Jill Harris I'm not a real believer, not that anyone asked, but I'm going to say anyway, I'm not a real believer in the resolutions that, you know, "It's a new year, new you," kind of crap. I just like to always be like, rethinking my life as I go along. Like I don't wait for a year. I'm always, "What am I sucking at right now? What am I hitting out of the ballpark?" And also, I want everyone to remember this. We should also be tallying up all the stuff we're getting done, things that we are really crushing, instead of always looking at a list that's never quite ever done. We need to look at the other side of the list, all the things that have been crossed off. So you feel like you're really making a difference. Otherwise, it can feel kind of depressing, right, Jeff? Like you're always spinning your wheels. I really try to notice all the things I'm crossing off every day, right? 00:03:00 Jeff Sarris Yeah, it's it's sort of the cliché sort of thing, but we overestimate what we can do in a day, but underestimate what we can achieve in a year. And it's so important to sort of step back today, like the beginning of the new year, but also just regularly trying to Trying to really let it sink in and give us give ourselves the kudos and things that we deserve that we actually need to help continue on and realize, "Oh, I've come a long way in this month, year, five years, whatever it is." And this is it's worth recognizing. 00:03:35 Jill Harris In the in the Kidney Stone Prevention Course, in those accountability support calls, those group support calls, I'm always reminding people, people come and say, "I really screwed up this weekend, blah, blah, blah." I'm like, "Yeah, but You've lost 90 pounds in the last year! I don't care what you…" You know, you forget! Because we're so used to thinking about the things we're not doing well, or, you know, we haven't gotten done. And so, I'm always reminding people, "Hey! Look where you've been! Are you kidding?" And then they start cheering up a little. But, I mean, I do the same thing, too. But, But the reason I brought New Year's is like, I don't let a whole year go by before I'm like, "I need to get my shit tightened up." I'm always tweaking and relooking, and if I notice if I'm in a slump, if I, you know, "What can I do?" I'm I'm mindful. So, I'm I'm not all of a sudden, January 1st, I'm like, "Oh my god, I'm a mess! Because I haven't been doing any maintenance for the last year." That's super important to me. I'm not great at it, but I sure am always in the game with it. I think it's really important because then you don't feel so overwhelmed by all the things you have to change or want to change. I'm always trying to think of ways I can change, how I can make myself a little bit better, Because here at Kidney Stone Diet, what we're looking for is better, not best. I really don't believe there's a best. Once you get best, there's nothing to work for. So, we're always trying to, no matter what the goal is for you, we're always trying to get better. That's really important. That's all, better. And get all that heavy ### Flaws of Short-Term Diets and Fad Claims 00:05:10 Jill Harris Expectations off our plate where it's just so daunting, right? So, yeah, I think I just kind of get a little sad with all these New Year's things being thrown at people, because I don't know, you know, people tend not to stick on things like that. And it's also, you know, the diet industry is like fasting, and juicing, and Things that are not going to be long-term. Yes, will you lose weight? You should, because you're barely eating anything. But our job here at Kidney Stone Diet is to teach you how to eat. How to eat. How to eat for a lifetime and always tweaking a little bit, right? Because other illnesses may come up, or vacations, whatever comes up, We're teaching them how to eat, not what to eat, how to eat. All right. 00:06:03 Jeff Sarris Yeah, and that education, like I always like to sort of position it, more just in wellness in general, there's a diet and our diet. And we're trying to change our diet through an approach that is the Kidney Stone Diet. This is we're trying to better ourselves rather than like an on again off again. It's like a lifetime thing of our diet being a certain thing that improves our lives rather than takes away from them. 00:06:28 Jill Harris Yeah, and here's what I'm always trying to teach my patients and students, that, and maybe I know you have a caller that we'll do, but maybe we change this video, Jeff, because we just fly here. We just do what we want to do and we're going to maybe we change it. So, because it is the new year and maybe it's just a timely message. I think how when you're looking at changing your diet, and, you know, if you've got a kidney stone, for sure you're really interested in making some changes, because you never want to go through that again. That's what every single person says. So, the pain and the surgeries, perhaps sepsis, a lot of people got sepsis, whatever, ### Setting Realistic Expectations for Dietary Changes 00:07:13 Jill Harris Dramatic incidents with kidney stones, you're very motivated to change. What I also notice, though, with people is they think they're supposed to change this in one day. And the diet industry will say, "You've got to change it. It's got to be quick. It's got to be easy." None of this is quick, because you have a huge learning curve. That is my experience in 24 years. People have a learning curve. You're not going to know how to change go to a low salt diet in a week, low sugar, get all those fluids in, the calcium. So, how do you actually make changes? It's really lofty, and you've got to reset your expectations. You can't change everything in Just getting enough water in is super hard for people, right? So, I think in the diet industry, Everything is billed as quick and easy and, you know, not a problem, and "This is the new you, new year, new you," kind of junk. I'm not a fan of it, because they're not teaching you how to eat. They're going to tell you the stuff you shouldn't eat, and when you take away those things, then you can eat as much as you want of everything else, except spinach and almonds, that's always a freebie that people can eat and then get a kidney stone, for those who are prone. So, you know, but who's sitting down with people and saying, "Okay, you want to try this lifestyle." And that's what one of the great things about the Kidney Stone Diet, you can do whatever lifestyle you want, as long as you fit in our goals, whatever makes you happy. You want to do keto? It will be harder, but you can do it. You want to do IF, intermittent fasting? You can do it. Whatever you want, paleo, whatever, low-carb. I do low-carb. I do the Kidney Stone Diet, too. You're diabetic? Well, you can do the Kidney Stone Diet, because there's set goals. But who is really teaching people how to do all those set diets, you know? And so, lots of times, they're done incorrectly. There's no handholding. There's no support. That's why we came up with the course. That's why we came up with those calls. You know, we could easily just say, "Here's the Kidney Stone Prevention Course. Here's your videos. Sit down, have a cigarette, watch the videos, enjoy." We have the support calls that I lead, because people need to, "Okay, I heard what you said in the video, but I'm just wondering for my lifestyle, how do I do that?" Right? So then you get to have a conversation with somebody. Also, other people there get to hear the conversation. There's always something you're learning in those accountability group calls. So, but the point is, I would never be able to sleep at night if that wasn't offered along with those videos. You must have that, right? And that's what's missing. I think WeightWatchers does a really good job Of having support, you know. But that's really the only thing I can think of. There's Noom, there's a couple things, but again, they're telling you what to eat. WeightWatchers, maybe with the points, but again, I'm not a fan of zero points for spinach. So, I mean, you know, it's got to be talked about a little bit more, it has to involve more stuff, and people do really need to set their expectations, and people really should learn How to eat that benefits their body best, cuz all of us are different. You know, I don't know what you think, Jeff, tell us. ### Overcoming Food Guilt and Emotional Eating 00:10:33 Jeff Sarris You don't want to feel guilty about eating something, either. Because that's the big thing, it's like, "Oh, I can't have that ever." Like, I'm done. Like you've You've brought this up, whether it's like bread or different things, too. Like to be like, "Okay, yesterday was the last time I'll ever have a french fry for the rest of my life," which is It's That's just not feasible. 00:10:53 Jill Harris Well, and also, we think of food as good or bad, and then, therefore, if that's bad, we are bad. And women especially, men, I don't mean to be sexist here, but my experience shows me when I'm talking to women, they really, really, really, really struggle with that. You know, men are supposed to be billionaires and, you know, you know, be strong all the time and never show emotion. Again, I'm coming from 1963, so it's a little generational how I'm speaking. But my patients and students are also my age, so they'll understand that. And also, women, and still to this day, have to be a sexpot, skinny mini, I mean, it's ridiculous. Now women are supposed to have asses like the Kardashians. I mean, there's a lot of people that don't have that. I mean, what is wrong with the way we look? I just loathe it. And there's so many women that come to me and they have all these feelings about if they eat this, then they are that. Oh, my god, it breaks my heart. It's something I never get sick of teaching, it's something I never get sick of talking about. It's so very important that we We must love ourselves, we must take care of our mind, okay? We must be kind to ourselves, we must be grateful for our body, all these things, because it really leads to more success. So, but beating ourselves up because we had, you know, a pastrami on rye? People, it's only food! What happens? You have the sandwich, whatever it is, a piece of bread, whatever you were told you can never have again, And what's going to happen to you? Nothing would happen if somebody made that just normal. Have a piece of bread. Guess what? You're not going to have all those depressing, angry, upset, "I'm not good enough," kind of feelings, because you had a bun! I mean, we've lost our mind! But that's what the world has done to us. And so, we, you know, villify food, as if, you know, one food is better than the other. Now, yeah, a Cheeto is less healthy than an apple, come on! But does that mean you can never have a Cheeto? Absolutely not! Do I want you to have a diet of Cheeto and vodka? No, I do not. But if you want a vodka and Cheeto sometimes, you do it and you get right back to work. What's one of our slogans here? Have what you want and get back to work. Nut spinach and almonds, too bad, so sad. But ### Eliminating Food Shame and Practicing Portion Control 00:13:26 Jill Harris When people come to me and they start learning and letting go, I think mostly this is what we're talking about here, learning to let go of the crap we've been taught, and it's really hard because for so many of us, it's been ingrained in our childhood for decades. Could be our parents, that's what their parents told them, a lot of food shaming with my patients, that's why they are 300, 400 pounds. They're using food as a coping skill, that's what people do. And to hide themselves because they do feel ashamed. It's very, and when it gets really deep, I say, of course, please talk to a licensed professional therapist, you know, of course. But I'm just saying, You know, you can eat whatever food you want if you get right back to work and be mindful of eating healthy most of the time. All food is on your table here at Kidney Stone Diet. We do take away spinach because it's so high in oxalate and almonds are high, too, and almond products, so we take those away. But everything else, even the higher oxalate foods, have a little bit, get your calcium needs met every day, and you can absolutely eat whatever you want. It's when we can't control our portion sizes, That's when weight comes on and that's when issues happen. But if you're maintaining your Kidney Stone Diet goals with salt and sugar and all that, you're definitely going to have to eat less portions, right, because you're never going to make those goals. So, it's kind of worked into the plan. But I'm just saying, it's it always breaks my heart how much I hear, You know, the sadness and the frustration and the way people beat themselves up over food. It is a real big thing, and once we start pinning eating well to health, and not how we look, And not who we are, then it really does get magical, because there's less beating people, you know, you don't beat yourself up, there's less shame, there's all of that. Now you have a healthy reason to do this, not just look like Brigitte Bardot. I mean, come on, it's ridiculous. So, you know, that's just my thought going into the new year. I've been thinking, I always think about this because I hear, like I said, specifically women always talking about how ashamed they are or, this is very common, throughout my day, "Jill, I was so bad this weekend." No, you weren't. You ate maybe a couple unhealthy foods, but you were not bad, and I'm telling you, think about it, people, and I know there's not one person listening here that hasn't used those words, that they've been bad. That's That's not good for you, please stop doing it. You're a wonderful, beautiful human being that just had a Dorito. It's okay. Just get back to work, Right? Do you have any of that? Do you have any of that, Jeff? You are younger than me, and you're a man, so do you think men have Do you think it's less for men? Tell And I know I'm setting you up, but I'm just saying, what are what are your thoughts on this? 00:16:26 Jeff Sarris Yeah, I mean, I do think, like, the guilt can be can be similar to feeling bad like, Like I would say in the end, we're all humans. We have the same broad stroke experiences and like sort of perspective and like feelings towards things, especially maybe, things that aren't like self-love and the positives, like a lot of the negatives will overlap. But then they will be different, like you said, in ways like maybe it's like, "I'll push it down." Like, you can't Be vulnerable, maybe, potentially. Like, whatever it is. So, there's there's definitely the variation. But yeah, I think it's universal across just across people. And one of the things that I think, too, about the new year that could actually be a positive is to take it and use that as the inspiration to be like, "Okay, I am going to make a change." ### Using Periodic Self-Reflection for Health Habits 00:17:21 Jeff Sarris But also the inspiration to continue to use that feeling. Not only the new year, it's like, "Oh, it's a new year. It's a new day every day. It's a new week every week. It's a new month." And if we can reframe it in a way like, "Okay, maybe the first of the month instead of the first of the year, we look at ourselves and be like, "Oh, how'd we do this month?" How did I compare maybe?" And not like to be crazy analytical, like not to journal everything and log like everything we ate. But just overall, like, "How am I feeling? How am I feeling? How do I feel about myself? What can I do to make sure that I'm feeling good about who I am and what I'm doing and how I'm pursuing life and living life to the fullest?" I think that's just a valuable a valuable approach overall. 00:18:05 Jill Harris I do, too. I think this I think eventually what I'd like to do, what we should do with the YouTube channel, is segment this out. The Kidney Stone Diet, and then the Living Your Best Life, because it all goes together, food, and healthy lifestyle, and all this, and then the Living Your Best Life segment, and which, obviously, this we've turned this into that today. But, you know, the fact that people don't understand, and I'm working with really educated people, I mean, smart people, Smart, smart people I'm working with every single day. They don't know where to begin because the diet industry has so much it's just have clouded. We have no rationale as far as we are totally irrational as far as how to make a dietary change. We just are. Again, I speak from 24 years of experience. This is what I hear every day. Really smart people have no idea. How do I look at the label? What am I looking for? What does that mean? No one's helped us with understanding nutrition, and nutrition is like a really new field. I mean, it's hard to study it, because you have to get people in a in a room, and feed them, and take blood tests, and all that. It's hard, and it's expensive. But what no one ever talks about, again, is making a lifestyle change, in this case, food, It's going to be it's going to take some time. It's going to take practice. It's going to take really educating. It's going to take what you just said, checking in with yourself every week, or whatever, however you want to set it up. I would suggest every week at first, and then when you get a lot of practice in, you can set it up every month. And I think what you said is actually pretty brilliant, where you're just doing a body scan. Don't forget up here. I don't give a shit about your ass, I'm talking about here, mostly, folks. How are we feeling? How is our heart feeling? Do we feel stress? Have we gained weight? And only because maybe the goal is you're trying to lose weight because you're trying to get off hyper blood pressure medication, or your A1C is getting up, I don't care about fat and skinny, I'm talking about due to healthcare reasons. So, It's going to take time. Lifestyle, anything you change, is going to take time, and then practice for the rest of your life. No one ever says that. So, when people don't lose 50 lb, or, you know, they their relationship doesn't change in two weeks, they're like, "Well, forget this! This is a waste of my time!" You gave it 14 days! How much weight do you think you're going to lose in a month? It took you two years to gain 150 lb! I mean, what are we thinking? ### Building Sustainable Healthy Lifestyle Habits 00:20:42 Jill Harris But we have been brainwashed. And so, you could say, again, very dramatic, Jill, but again, if you heard what I heard every day, and how people are so upset with themselves and beat themselves up and feel so down and feel like they're a failure. Well, then you get real hot under the collar, too, about this. So, what we're trying to do here again at Kidney Stone Diet, we're trying to change the way, forget about low salt, forget about oxalate, We're trying to change the way you think about nourishing your body. Of course to prevent kidney stones, but prevent lots of stuff. And by following this diet, go on the Facebook page, you'll see how many people lose weight, get off their hypertensive medications, their A1Cs down, blah, blah, blah, not because Jeff and I are genies in a bottle, it's because people work hard. They take the conversation, They take the education, and they work it every single day. And there's not one person, the first person I worked with 24 years ago, they're still working. Me, I work at this every day, and I check in, just like Jeff said, I check in every night, because it takes two seconds when you do it that way. And then I'm not like already screwed three weeks later, and I'm like, "Oh my god, what did I do?" You know, I check in every week every night before I go to bed. 5 seconds. How'd I do today? Were people kind to me? Did I let somebody talk to me poorly? Did I have a bad experience? Did I did I overdo salt? Really, at the end of the day, people, your salt and sugar, you don't have to pay mind to that. I'm talking the heavier things in life. Like, are you being treated well? Are you surrounding yourself with good people? Unless you do things like that, is your job bringing you any kind of happiness? I get you have to pay bills, So you may be stuck in a place that doesn't bring you 100% happiness, but is it bringing you more happiness than it is sadness? So, for those reasons, too, that's why we're eating. Cuz we have a lot of not joy, and we try to get joy momentarily with food. So, it's All of this is complicated, and it's certainly not going to solve anything in one YouTube, but I do want to open these conversations up. We need to talk about this more. I do talk about it every day in my practice and in the Kidney Stone Course, but it's something that needs to be talked about more on YouTube. Don't listen to all these influencers that are not eating for a day, and now they're ready for their bikini. It takes It takes time, people, and you want to learn how to do a lifestyle well, but mostly all of this is going to start up here first. Going to start up here first, undoing the things that you think, and then incorporating the new information and then taking action once you get the information. It's one thing to collect data, it's a whole other thing to put that data into action, Right? That's where the real magic happens. 00:23:39 Jeff Sarris Absolutely. Yeah, I think that is a great note to wrap on. I mean, because this is a very valuable topic, and 00:23:45 Jill Harris Jeff's like, "Oh my god, if I don't say this, she ain't ever going to shut up." TikTok, Jill! 00:23:51 Jeff Sarris But, yeah, like this is It's such an important topic and it's it really just comes down to action and trying to make a better life for ourselves. So, yeah, this is this is going to be a good one, a valuable message to start the year as well. And yeah, if we'll have more questions in the next episode, but if you have a question, the number is 773-789-8763 and we will feature you on a future episode. ### Kidney Stone Diet Community Support Options 00:24:20 Jeff Sarris And, also, we just set up a Patreon. If you don't know what that is, it's a it's a membership platform where you can support creators. And there's not a lot going on. It's only because Jill has been asked like, "How can I support what you're doing?" Maybe someone's been in the course and they're not in it anymore because they don't need the calls, whatever it is. So, we just have three tiers set up and you get a shout out at the end of the episode right around here. That's what we're doing for now. Maybe in the future it changes, but just so it's out there, so people could Support when they've asked about it. So, it's patreon.com/kidneystonediet. But obviously no pressure. All the free stuff is at kidneystonediet.com. This is always free. We're just here trying to connect and support in as many ways as possible. I just wanted to throw it out there because it's brand new. 00:25:03 Jill Harris Yeah, I think it's great. I mean, I get things all the time, "Jill, how can I support what you guys are doing? I want to help other kidney stone formers get that information out, and you're doing all this hard work, can we support it in any way?" And that's there, because people have asked. If they want to do it, they do it. It's It's extra. I mean, you know, don't have to do it, but it's there because people ask every day, so we set something up for you, if you want to do it, great. If you don't, that's great, too. We're happy you're here. 00:25:29 Jeff Sarris Absolutely. But yeah, with that, we'll wrap for this week and we'll see you next time. 00:25:32 Jill Harris Bye!